1 00:00:00,173 --> 00:00:03,280 [Dramatic music playing] 2 00:00:03,309 --> 00:00:05,968 [Beads rattling on curtain] 3 00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:25,017 [Sniffs]. Oh. 4 00:00:25,177 --> 00:00:26,138 Ohh! 5 00:00:27,322 --> 00:00:28,378 Whoo! 6 00:00:28,393 --> 00:00:30,165 [Sniffs]. Whoo. 7 00:00:32,332 --> 00:00:34,999 - [Speaking foreign language] - _ 8 00:00:38,096 --> 00:00:41,960 _ 9 00:00:42,220 --> 00:00:42,974 [Spits] 10 00:00:44,220 --> 00:00:46,115 Mm-hmm. 11 00:00:46,197 --> 00:00:51,575 [Music continues] 12 00:01:00,817 --> 00:01:04,187 [Hisses] 13 00:01:06,755 --> 00:01:11,488 [Slow rock music plays] 14 00:01:15,759 --> 00:01:17,075 [Sips] 15 00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:22,355 [Feedback squeals] 16 00:01:24,868 --> 00:01:26,303 The Morristown Frackers 17 00:01:26,339 --> 00:01:29,009 would like to thank you all for attending today. 18 00:01:30,506 --> 00:01:32,041 [Yawns] 19 00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:36,056 All... oh, let's call it a dozen of you. 20 00:01:36,079 --> 00:01:37,815 Guess you lucky fans 21 00:01:37,887 --> 00:01:40,015 can just feel free to stretch your legs right out 22 00:01:40,083 --> 00:01:42,091 and enjoy your own section 23 00:01:42,166 --> 00:01:44,402 all to yourself. 24 00:01:46,698 --> 00:01:49,135 [Blade sharpening] 25 00:01:51,046 --> 00:01:52,596 - [Sighs] - Hey. 26 00:01:52,825 --> 00:01:55,128 What, um... What are you... What are you wearing? 27 00:01:55,194 --> 00:01:56,863 Yeah, all right. I know I look ridiculous, 28 00:01:56,929 --> 00:01:59,551 but my dad wore it when they went on a winning streak in '86, 29 00:01:59,627 --> 00:02:02,664 so I figured, can't hurt. 30 00:02:02,801 --> 00:02:06,939 Is dressing badly, like, just a thing for baseball? 31 00:02:07,006 --> 00:02:08,707 'Cause that would explain his jacket. 32 00:02:08,774 --> 00:02:11,910 Superstition is a thing in baseball. 33 00:02:11,977 --> 00:02:13,746 It's a tradition that if you're on a losing streak, 34 00:02:13,813 --> 00:02:15,348 you change everything that you're doing. 35 00:02:15,415 --> 00:02:16,416 And if you're on a winning streak, 36 00:02:16,482 --> 00:02:17,983 you don't change anything. 37 00:02:18,051 --> 00:02:19,652 Well said. Now, can you say some of that into the mic? 38 00:02:19,719 --> 00:02:21,220 I ain't paying you to talk to Charles. 39 00:02:21,286 --> 00:02:22,288 Uribe's at the plate. 40 00:02:22,355 --> 00:02:24,223 [Applause] 41 00:02:24,290 --> 00:02:25,518 I don't need a microphone 42 00:02:25,582 --> 00:02:28,994 to chat with a dozen people at the ballpark. 43 00:02:29,062 --> 00:02:32,130 Hey, Uribe! You look slimmer! Did you lose weight? 44 00:02:32,197 --> 00:02:35,802 Pedro: Oh, yes, I did, Jim. Thank you for noticing. 45 00:02:36,635 --> 00:02:39,105 As long as it's into the mic. 46 00:02:40,739 --> 00:02:42,441 [Feedback squeals] 47 00:02:42,509 --> 00:02:45,878 Pedro Uribe has lost weight. 48 00:02:45,945 --> 00:02:48,147 - That is all. - [Switch clicks] 49 00:02:48,213 --> 00:02:50,749 Jim: You know what's not helping my suicidal depression? 50 00:02:50,816 --> 00:02:52,986 Calling baseball games into an empty stadium 51 00:02:53,052 --> 00:02:55,220 and having my own words bounce back into my face 52 00:02:55,288 --> 00:02:58,491 like some kind of haunting metaphor for life's futility. 53 00:02:58,558 --> 00:03:01,160 Listen, my plan is gonna take time. 54 00:03:01,226 --> 00:03:03,396 Morristown has been drowning in apathy for so long, 55 00:03:03,463 --> 00:03:04,764 they... they don't even recognize 56 00:03:04,831 --> 00:03:06,599 that I'm throwing them a life preserver. 57 00:03:06,665 --> 00:03:08,820 Plus, I'm competing with dirt-cheap entertainment 58 00:03:08,890 --> 00:03:10,057 that's in every home here. 59 00:03:10,403 --> 00:03:11,638 Cable? 60 00:03:12,671 --> 00:03:14,740 - Meth. - Ah. 61 00:03:14,808 --> 00:03:16,743 But they'll all come around soon enough 62 00:03:16,809 --> 00:03:19,344 'cause I'm offering the only drug more powerful. 63 00:03:19,411 --> 00:03:20,813 Heroin. 64 00:03:20,879 --> 00:03:22,581 Nostalgia. 65 00:03:22,648 --> 00:03:25,350 I think you're wildly underestimating heroin. 66 00:03:25,417 --> 00:03:26,845 When the team starts winning again, 67 00:03:26,900 --> 00:03:30,923 everyone's gonna come back so they can relive the glory days. 68 00:03:30,989 --> 00:03:31,957 What makes you think 69 00:03:32,005 --> 00:03:34,027 that that team is gonna win any ball games? 70 00:03:34,094 --> 00:03:38,164 Our luck is gonna change. We're due! 71 00:03:38,231 --> 00:03:40,466 The team, me, even you. 72 00:03:40,533 --> 00:03:41,934 [Ice cubes clinking] 73 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:45,171 [Laughing] 74 00:03:52,278 --> 00:03:55,581 Oh, yeah, laugh at my hope. 75 00:03:55,647 --> 00:03:59,419 I'm sorry, it's just... You actually believe that? 76 00:03:59,602 --> 00:04:02,521 Yeah, and I put my money where my mouth is when I got my loan. 77 00:04:02,588 --> 00:04:04,623 [Book thuds] 78 00:04:04,690 --> 00:04:06,358 You know what? Let me take a look at this. 79 00:04:06,426 --> 00:04:08,027 - No, wait, 'cause it's... - No, no! Come on. 80 00:04:08,094 --> 00:04:09,996 No! It's turtle racing starting soon. 81 00:04:10,063 --> 00:04:11,764 - Stacy. - Come on, hey, let me see it. 82 00:04:11,831 --> 00:04:13,199 I know a thing or two about loans. 83 00:04:13,266 --> 00:04:15,700 I did a bunch of commercials for reverse mortgages 84 00:04:15,767 --> 00:04:17,137 back in the Philippines. 85 00:04:18,137 --> 00:04:20,138 Is it big enough? 86 00:04:20,205 --> 00:04:22,641 Uh, I'm gonna need you to top me off, though, first. 87 00:04:22,709 --> 00:04:26,112 Jesus, you're blowing through all my good whiskey. 88 00:04:26,178 --> 00:04:27,512 [Glass clinks] 89 00:04:27,580 --> 00:04:28,880 Care for some... 90 00:04:28,947 --> 00:04:29,948 [Blows dust] 91 00:04:30,015 --> 00:04:31,516 ... Sambuca? 92 00:04:31,584 --> 00:04:34,855 [Indistinct shouting, whistling] 93 00:04:39,392 --> 00:04:42,195 [Crowd cheering] 94 00:04:42,262 --> 00:04:44,497 You have a balloon payment due 95 00:04:44,563 --> 00:04:46,665 after the first month of the season? 96 00:04:46,725 --> 00:04:49,394 Yep. Hey! No nudging the turtles! 97 00:04:49,469 --> 00:04:51,337 [Cheering continues] 98 00:04:51,404 --> 00:04:53,272 Yeah, wait till you get to page 47. 99 00:04:53,339 --> 00:04:54,740 No, I saw that. [Chuckles] 100 00:04:54,806 --> 00:04:57,476 The team has to finish above .500. 101 00:04:57,544 --> 00:05:01,279 [Booing and jeering] 102 00:05:01,346 --> 00:05:04,616 Why in the world would you agree to all this crap? 103 00:05:04,683 --> 00:05:06,486 I couldn't just let the team die. 104 00:05:06,553 --> 00:05:09,021 It would be like losing a limb. 105 00:05:09,087 --> 00:05:12,963 My dad played first base for Morristown from '81 to '87. 106 00:05:13,926 --> 00:05:18,096 Shit, I lost my virginity in the visitors' bullpen in '88. 107 00:05:18,164 --> 00:05:20,666 I did what I had to do. 108 00:05:20,733 --> 00:05:23,336 Here's to giant, life-altering mistakes. 109 00:05:23,402 --> 00:05:26,338 We both know them well. 110 00:05:26,406 --> 00:05:28,608 - [Glasses clink] - We surely do. 111 00:05:30,842 --> 00:05:33,411 Ugh! This shit is disgusting. 112 00:05:33,479 --> 00:05:35,080 - It does the trick. - Mm-hmm. 113 00:05:35,147 --> 00:05:37,616 Christ's sakes, you're starting to look good to me, 114 00:05:37,683 --> 00:05:39,351 and you're a goddamned disaster. 115 00:05:39,419 --> 00:05:41,587 Well, thank you for the half-compliment. 116 00:05:41,654 --> 00:05:43,022 And for the record, 117 00:05:43,089 --> 00:05:45,758 you looked good to me when that bottle was still full. 118 00:05:45,825 --> 00:05:48,361 I'll give you one shot. 119 00:05:48,428 --> 00:05:49,962 Woo me. 120 00:05:50,029 --> 00:05:52,665 I may not be the best [Beep] in any room, 121 00:05:52,731 --> 00:05:55,534 but I am definitely the best [Beep] in this room. 122 00:05:55,601 --> 00:05:57,435 [Door slams] 123 00:05:57,503 --> 00:05:59,906 [Banging] 124 00:05:59,972 --> 00:06:02,008 [Grunting] 125 00:06:02,075 --> 00:06:04,043 - Get it off! - I'm getting it off! 126 00:06:04,109 --> 00:06:06,275 - [Grunting] - Aah! 127 00:06:06,378 --> 00:06:07,813 Jim: All right, for those of you just joining us, 128 00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:09,582 I got a good one going here. 129 00:06:09,649 --> 00:06:11,017 Brockmire taking no chances, 130 00:06:11,084 --> 00:06:12,485 starting right off in the missionary. 131 00:06:12,551 --> 00:06:13,852 Okay, shh. 132 00:06:13,919 --> 00:06:15,287 - He's trying to find his rhythm. - Okay, okay, shh. 133 00:06:15,354 --> 00:06:16,789 Ho! 134 00:06:16,856 --> 00:06:20,058 Julia James with a surprise finger in the keister! 135 00:06:20,125 --> 00:06:21,993 And Brockmire is into it. 136 00:06:22,060 --> 00:06:23,229 [Moans] 137 00:06:23,296 --> 00:06:24,796 Oh, man! 138 00:06:24,863 --> 00:06:27,566 The old fastball sign makes for a real snug butt plug. 139 00:06:27,633 --> 00:06:29,334 Jim: Okay, folks. 140 00:06:29,402 --> 00:06:31,971 Bott... [Spits] 141 00:06:32,037 --> 00:06:33,471 Bottom of the 9th. 142 00:06:33,539 --> 00:06:35,608 [Spits] 143 00:06:35,674 --> 00:06:37,242 Frackers have runners on the corners, 144 00:06:37,310 --> 00:06:38,644 and I'm just gonna... 145 00:06:38,710 --> 00:06:41,846 I'm gonna rest my eyes for just a little bit. 146 00:06:41,914 --> 00:06:44,483 [Groans] Sambuca. 147 00:06:44,549 --> 00:06:47,118 [Crowd cheering, whistling] 148 00:06:47,185 --> 00:06:51,489 Hey, am I wrong? Is the winning point at bat? 149 00:06:51,556 --> 00:06:54,292 The winning run is up, yes, 150 00:06:54,359 --> 00:06:55,694 but he hits the ball 151 00:06:55,762 --> 00:06:57,964 like he's trying to wake it up from a little nap, 152 00:06:58,031 --> 00:07:01,133 so I'm just gonna take it easy until he makes the final out. 153 00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:02,401 Okay, whatever, 154 00:07:02,467 --> 00:07:03,902 as long as you stop talking about... 155 00:07:03,969 --> 00:07:06,705 Oh, my God, last night was some of the best sex I ever had. 156 00:07:06,772 --> 00:07:09,575 No. No, you didn't stop talking about it. 157 00:07:09,642 --> 00:07:11,810 There was an improvisational quality to it. 158 00:07:11,878 --> 00:07:14,546 It... It was like every surface in her apartment 159 00:07:14,604 --> 00:07:16,739 - was a workbench upon which... - No. 160 00:07:16,797 --> 00:07:17,979 Yeah, upon which 161 00:07:18,008 --> 00:07:19,292 - we constructed our sexual art. - Please. 162 00:07:19,551 --> 00:07:22,587 Hey, Jim? Please stop, okay? 163 00:07:22,654 --> 00:07:24,089 Jules is like my mom, 164 00:07:24,157 --> 00:07:26,491 and you've been talking about having sex with her 165 00:07:26,558 --> 00:07:27,626 for the past three hours. 166 00:07:27,693 --> 00:07:29,160 - I just... - It's messed up! 167 00:07:29,228 --> 00:07:31,330 I just... I have to end things with her 168 00:07:31,397 --> 00:07:33,633 before everything gets messy, 169 00:07:33,700 --> 00:07:35,735 metaphorically and literally. 170 00:07:35,801 --> 00:07:38,069 We went through half a tube of lube last night. 171 00:07:38,137 --> 00:07:39,305 Aaaah! 172 00:07:39,387 --> 00:07:40,621 Stop it! Stop, shh! 173 00:07:40,673 --> 00:07:42,475 This wasn't about vaginal moisture. 174 00:07:42,541 --> 00:07:44,010 - She has that in spades. - [Sighs] 175 00:07:44,077 --> 00:07:46,178 It was strictly a friction issue. 176 00:07:46,245 --> 00:07:47,813 - [Stammers] Shut up! - [Feedback squeals] 177 00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:48,880 [Cheering] 178 00:07:48,947 --> 00:07:49,948 [Bat cracks] 179 00:07:50,015 --> 00:07:51,650 Lazy fly ball to left field. 180 00:07:51,717 --> 00:07:54,119 This should do it, folks. 181 00:07:54,354 --> 00:07:55,354 Whoa! 182 00:07:55,421 --> 00:07:56,856 No! It falls! 183 00:07:56,923 --> 00:08:00,026 And now Maldonado kicks it like it owes him money. 184 00:08:00,092 --> 00:08:02,994 And now they're sprinting around the bases. 185 00:08:03,061 --> 00:08:05,597 - Go, go, go! - It's a Little League home run! 186 00:08:05,664 --> 00:08:07,332 The Frackers win! 187 00:08:07,399 --> 00:08:08,467 [Cheering] 188 00:08:08,534 --> 00:08:11,036 The Frackers win! 189 00:08:11,104 --> 00:08:12,938 [Cheering continues] 190 00:08:13,005 --> 00:08:15,341 Yeah! Whoo! 191 00:08:15,407 --> 00:08:16,941 [Vomiting] 192 00:08:17,008 --> 00:08:18,009 [Gags] 193 00:08:18,077 --> 00:08:22,682 [Retching, vomit splashing] 194 00:08:22,748 --> 00:08:24,516 Uh... 195 00:08:24,584 --> 00:08:26,485 [Sighs] 196 00:08:26,551 --> 00:08:29,020 Uh... for the record, 197 00:08:29,087 --> 00:08:31,356 Sambuca tastes better on the way out, folks. 198 00:08:31,423 --> 00:08:33,826 [Cheers and applause] 199 00:08:33,893 --> 00:08:35,361 Ohh. [Spits] 200 00:08:35,428 --> 00:08:38,164 Look, I'm disaster on about 17 different levels, all right, 201 00:08:38,231 --> 00:08:40,732 so I just think any more hanky panky between us 202 00:08:40,799 --> 00:08:43,001 would, well, probably be a mistake. 203 00:08:43,068 --> 00:08:44,303 Huge mistake. 204 00:08:44,370 --> 00:08:46,871 For Christ's sakes, you say things like "hanky panky." 205 00:08:46,938 --> 00:08:48,373 Trust me, sleeping with you 206 00:08:48,441 --> 00:08:49,842 was one of the biggest regrets of my life, 207 00:08:49,909 --> 00:08:52,311 and I have a tattoo of a dream catcher on my ankle. 208 00:08:52,377 --> 00:08:54,026 To be clear, okay, I... 209 00:08:54,089 --> 00:08:56,057 Hey, I do not think that I am capable 210 00:08:56,137 --> 00:08:58,621 of having a successful adult relationship anymore. 211 00:08:58,685 --> 00:09:01,253 Yeah, no. That's... abundantly clear. 212 00:09:01,319 --> 00:09:04,622 Well, getting emasculated in front of America 213 00:09:04,689 --> 00:09:06,058 caused me to chase ass like a Kennedy, 214 00:09:06,158 --> 00:09:09,573 but, you know, you're not just some fling in a bar. 215 00:09:09,579 --> 00:09:10,696 You happen to be my boss. 216 00:09:10,763 --> 00:09:13,119 So... What... What... What are you doing? 217 00:09:13,252 --> 00:09:14,799 Are you serious? 218 00:09:14,866 --> 00:09:16,953 They won. 219 00:09:17,054 --> 00:09:19,704 So... unfortunately for both of us, 220 00:09:19,771 --> 00:09:23,308 we're gonna have to repeat everything we did last night. 221 00:09:23,366 --> 00:09:25,868 [Soul music plays] 222 00:09:26,610 --> 00:09:28,459 Ho, what the hell. All right. 223 00:09:28,498 --> 00:09:30,907 Uh, just keep that dream catcher tattoo covered up, 224 00:09:30,992 --> 00:09:33,219 because I have to maintain an erection over here. 225 00:09:33,255 --> 00:09:35,023 I actually don't think that's gonna be a problem. 226 00:09:35,102 --> 00:09:36,489 I call bottom this time! 227 00:09:38,683 --> 00:09:40,617 I can believe you went down on me three times. 228 00:09:40,684 --> 00:09:42,169 Oh, I can do it again. 229 00:09:42,217 --> 00:09:43,187 You still haven't experienced 230 00:09:43,262 --> 00:09:46,585 what I like to call the conference on the mound. 231 00:09:46,594 --> 00:09:47,888 - Okay, shh. - You know, it's kind of a... 232 00:09:47,983 --> 00:09:49,792 Shut up. 233 00:09:49,933 --> 00:09:52,262 Is that the finger that you put in my ass? 234 00:09:52,854 --> 00:09:53,888 Shh. 235 00:09:55,174 --> 00:09:56,729 Hope you folks are all enjoying 236 00:09:56,774 --> 00:09:59,077 "Free Cold Medicine Day" here at the ballpark. 237 00:09:59,154 --> 00:10:02,155 Quick reminder... Go ahead and have another gel pack. 238 00:10:02,206 --> 00:10:03,674 The Frackers won't judge you 239 00:10:03,742 --> 00:10:06,265 like those snooty pharmacy assholes. 240 00:10:06,344 --> 00:10:08,180 All right, now, listen up. 241 00:10:08,247 --> 00:10:09,548 We got a good one going here. 242 00:10:09,614 --> 00:10:10,950 Look at the field now, 243 00:10:11,016 --> 00:10:12,384 because the Frackers are threatening 244 00:10:12,450 --> 00:10:13,618 here in the bottom of the 8th 245 00:10:13,685 --> 00:10:15,253 with runners on the corners. 246 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:17,022 [Scattered cheering] 247 00:10:17,089 --> 00:10:18,890 And here comes the pitch. 248 00:10:18,956 --> 00:10:20,292 [Bat cracks] 249 00:10:20,359 --> 00:10:21,520 Whoo! [Laughs] 250 00:10:21,592 --> 00:10:25,996 Some might call that Istanbul, but I call it Constantinople! 251 00:10:26,064 --> 00:10:27,869 The Frackers take the lead! 252 00:10:27,925 --> 00:10:29,667 My gosh, what a comeback. 253 00:10:29,734 --> 00:10:35,005 So, a Sambuca-fueled Brockmire is still struggling mightily 254 00:10:35,072 --> 00:10:36,273 with the button-fly jeans. 255 00:10:36,340 --> 00:10:38,042 Come on, now! 256 00:10:38,109 --> 00:10:39,878 All right. Here comes the payoff pitch from Grant. 257 00:10:39,945 --> 00:10:40,979 [Bat cracks] 258 00:10:41,046 --> 00:10:43,248 Deep fly ball to center field. 259 00:10:43,315 --> 00:10:44,683 Back at the warning track. 260 00:10:44,749 --> 00:10:46,684 He makes the grab, 261 00:10:46,752 --> 00:10:51,423 and the Frackers miraculously escape a bases-loaded jam. 262 00:10:51,489 --> 00:10:53,392 My goodness! 263 00:10:54,792 --> 00:10:55,626 Proceed. 264 00:10:55,694 --> 00:10:57,262 [Muffled speaking] 265 00:10:57,329 --> 00:10:59,131 Oh, my God. Just shoot me. 266 00:10:59,197 --> 00:11:00,264 Frickin' shoot me. 267 00:11:00,331 --> 00:11:01,799 Oh, my goodness. 268 00:11:01,867 --> 00:11:04,202 He dropped the ball. That's a balk! 269 00:11:04,268 --> 00:11:05,672 A walk-off balk 270 00:11:05,696 --> 00:11:08,139 gives the Frackers their fifth win in a row. 271 00:11:08,206 --> 00:11:10,408 Now I have seen everything. 272 00:11:10,475 --> 00:11:11,542 Cheers. 273 00:11:11,609 --> 00:11:12,844 [Glasses clink] 274 00:11:12,911 --> 00:11:15,380 [Chuckles] 275 00:11:15,446 --> 00:11:17,114 - [Laughs] - Oh, it's happening. 276 00:11:17,181 --> 00:11:19,084 - No, he's not! - It's happening. 277 00:11:19,151 --> 00:11:21,353 [Laughing] No! Oh, yes! 278 00:11:21,420 --> 00:11:24,423 All right! Go, Brockmire! 279 00:11:24,489 --> 00:11:26,424 Oh, my God! 280 00:11:26,492 --> 00:11:27,692 Ladies and gentlemen, 281 00:11:27,756 --> 00:11:32,731 Brockmire showing the crowd why naked men should never run. 282 00:11:32,797 --> 00:11:34,232 [Chuckles] 283 00:11:34,298 --> 00:11:38,936 Your dick and balls look like they're having a fistfight! 284 00:11:39,003 --> 00:11:39,904 [Bat cracks] 285 00:11:39,971 --> 00:11:41,405 Home run... Frackers! 286 00:11:41,473 --> 00:11:43,608 Whoo-hoo-hoo! 287 00:11:43,675 --> 00:11:46,344 That's their sixth win in a row. 288 00:11:46,411 --> 00:11:51,416 And the rockets' red glare 289 00:11:51,483 --> 00:11:56,615 The bombs bursting in air 290 00:11:56,695 --> 00:11:58,814 - Gave proof through the... - [Footsteps thudding] 291 00:11:58,845 --> 00:12:00,091 Where have you been?! 292 00:12:00,135 --> 00:12:01,274 Charles got T-boned by 293 00:12:01,362 --> 00:12:03,056 - an ambulance on the way here. - [Gasps] 294 00:12:03,061 --> 00:12:06,431 I-I... It was full of blood for a blood drive. 295 00:12:06,498 --> 00:12:07,799 I kept slipping in it. 296 00:12:07,832 --> 00:12:09,449 - Wait, so that's not your blood? - No. 297 00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:11,101 - Get out. Get out. - I don't know whose blood this is. 298 00:12:11,168 --> 00:12:13,471 - I don't know whose blood this is! - Close the door. 299 00:12:13,538 --> 00:12:16,006 She's already singing. We don't have any time. 300 00:12:16,074 --> 00:12:18,176 Shit, shit, shit. 301 00:12:18,243 --> 00:12:20,145 ... wave 302 00:12:20,211 --> 00:12:21,580 Come on, Brockmire! 303 00:12:21,647 --> 00:12:22,982 All right. I'm hurrying. I'm hurrying I am. I am. 304 00:12:23,047 --> 00:12:27,018 - [Grunting] - ... land of the free 305 00:12:27,093 --> 00:12:29,174 - [Grunting, moaning] - Oh 306 00:12:29,214 --> 00:12:32,117 And the home 307 00:12:32,153 --> 00:12:37,359 Of the brave 308 00:12:37,863 --> 00:12:40,465 - Lay it down. - [Moaning] 309 00:12:40,532 --> 00:12:44,448 - [Grunting, moaning continue] - [Clapping] 310 00:12:46,459 --> 00:12:48,628 [Indistinct conversations] 311 00:12:48,825 --> 00:12:49,905 Jim: My goodness. You were right. 312 00:12:49,933 --> 00:12:52,135 These people... They are high on nostalgia. 313 00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:53,507 Jules! 314 00:12:53,574 --> 00:12:54,875 - Jules. - Hey! 315 00:12:54,926 --> 00:12:57,729 Who's that haircut with teeth? 316 00:12:57,811 --> 00:12:59,145 Um, that's Gary. 317 00:12:59,213 --> 00:13:00,948 - Gary. - He's the point person around here 318 00:13:01,014 --> 00:13:03,082 for Pennsylvania Shale Oil and Gas. 319 00:13:03,149 --> 00:13:04,784 We kind of had a thing for a bit. 320 00:13:04,851 --> 00:13:05,818 Did you now? 321 00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:06,954 [Chuckles] 322 00:13:07,021 --> 00:13:08,322 Look at this crowd. 323 00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:11,258 I'm so proud of you. Your dream's coming true. 324 00:13:11,325 --> 00:13:12,660 Mm. 325 00:13:12,726 --> 00:13:14,193 Thank you. 326 00:13:14,261 --> 00:13:15,930 Um, Gary, I want you to meet... 327 00:13:15,997 --> 00:13:17,731 Jim Brockmire. 328 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,332 Wow. I'll tell you what. 329 00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:22,344 I am a big fan of your work in Kansas City. 330 00:13:22,407 --> 00:13:24,337 - I don't like you. - What? 331 00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:26,639 Something about your essence is just rubbing me the wrong way, 332 00:13:26,805 --> 00:13:27,675 so I'd appreciate it if you'd just... 333 00:13:27,742 --> 00:13:28,809 just keep your distance from me. 334 00:13:28,875 --> 00:13:30,944 [Chuckles] Uh, Jim... 335 00:13:31,026 --> 00:13:33,997 [Laughs] Gary is a friend. 336 00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:36,242 He's the one who helped me get my loan 337 00:13:36,336 --> 00:13:37,169 so I could buy the team. 338 00:13:37,263 --> 00:13:38,025 - Really? - Yes. 339 00:13:38,043 --> 00:13:38,938 'Cause I read that loan, 340 00:13:38,986 --> 00:13:40,554 and no true friend would ever let you sign it. 341 00:13:41,175 --> 00:13:43,043 Come on. The guy is obviously up to something. 342 00:13:43,109 --> 00:13:45,613 The man works for a gas company, for crying out loud. 343 00:13:45,680 --> 00:13:48,649 Never trust a man who sucks Satan's dick for a living. 344 00:13:48,715 --> 00:13:50,017 All right. 345 00:13:50,084 --> 00:13:52,051 Nice to meet you. Stay the hell away from me. 346 00:13:52,118 --> 00:13:55,455 Don't be sorry. Everybody gets jealous. 347 00:13:55,522 --> 00:13:58,325 Jea... Uh, whoa. [Chuckles] Excuse... 348 00:13:58,392 --> 00:14:00,594 Now, why would I be jealous, sweetheart? 349 00:14:00,661 --> 00:14:01,896 Well, it's only natural. 350 00:14:01,963 --> 00:14:03,764 When two people spend this much time together, 351 00:14:03,830 --> 00:14:05,099 feelings bubble up. 352 00:14:05,166 --> 00:14:07,233 Darlin', I don't have feelings for you. 353 00:14:07,301 --> 00:14:09,403 I don't have feelings for anybody. 354 00:14:12,073 --> 00:14:14,141 Just out of curiosity, though, 355 00:14:14,208 --> 00:14:17,511 um, how long did you and Gary date for, anyway? 356 00:14:17,578 --> 00:14:20,113 We went out two or three times. 357 00:14:20,180 --> 00:14:22,115 Did you, uh, have sex with him? 358 00:14:22,182 --> 00:14:24,217 Seven and a half... 359 00:14:24,285 --> 00:14:27,588 Depends how you... I mean, eight times, probably. 360 00:14:27,670 --> 00:14:29,338 Wow. Seven and a half. 361 00:14:29,389 --> 00:14:30,105 Half a time? 362 00:14:30,141 --> 00:14:31,576 That should have been interesting. All right. 363 00:14:32,193 --> 00:14:33,894 Just... I'm sorry. I can't... I... Really? 364 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,796 'Cause I can't believe you actually had sex with that guy. 365 00:14:36,863 --> 00:14:38,298 Why? He's very nice 366 00:14:38,366 --> 00:14:39,645 and knows a lot about wine 367 00:14:39,654 --> 00:14:40,683 - and isn't diabetic. - Oh. 368 00:14:40,746 --> 00:14:42,536 And around here, that makes him the catch of the frickin' century. 369 00:14:42,603 --> 00:14:44,305 And you know what? You have no right to judge me. 370 00:14:44,372 --> 00:14:47,141 You've admitted to having sex with prostitutes 371 00:14:47,208 --> 00:14:48,608 all over the world. 372 00:14:48,676 --> 00:14:50,844 Hey, I was helping those ladies find a new life 373 00:14:50,911 --> 00:14:51,945 20 bucks at a time. 374 00:14:52,012 --> 00:14:53,180 [Laughing] 20 bucks? 375 00:14:53,247 --> 00:14:55,449 Oh, the dollar's very strong right now. 376 00:14:55,516 --> 00:14:57,218 You know what? You're an asshole. 377 00:14:57,285 --> 00:14:59,386 I can't even look at you. Tonight, blindfolds. 378 00:14:59,453 --> 00:15:00,853 No, we're not. You know why? 379 00:15:00,921 --> 00:15:02,388 'Cause I'm tired of treating my dick 380 00:15:02,455 --> 00:15:03,756 like some kind of a lucky 381 00:15:03,829 --> 00:15:04,598 - rabbit's foot. - Oh. 382 00:15:04,638 --> 00:15:05,725 No, the idea that our sex 383 00:15:05,792 --> 00:15:08,494 is actually helping the Frackers win ball games is... 384 00:15:08,561 --> 00:15:09,529 It's ludicrous. 385 00:15:09,595 --> 00:15:11,831 So, if you don't believe in the streak 386 00:15:11,898 --> 00:15:14,100 and you don't have any feelings for me, 387 00:15:14,167 --> 00:15:15,335 why have we been having sex 388 00:15:15,402 --> 00:15:17,003 every night for the last two weeks? 389 00:15:17,070 --> 00:15:18,906 Because I thought my only other option 390 00:15:18,980 --> 00:15:21,224 was talking to that asshole all night. 391 00:15:21,272 --> 00:15:21,978 But you know? 392 00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:23,049 - No, maybe I made a mistake. - Oh. 393 00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:24,511 Hey, friend? Excuse me. 394 00:15:24,578 --> 00:15:25,646 What's your story? 395 00:15:25,713 --> 00:15:27,248 Oh. Well... 396 00:15:27,315 --> 00:15:29,849 I was born two days prematurely. 397 00:15:29,916 --> 00:15:31,285 No, no. 398 00:15:31,352 --> 00:15:33,187 Clearly, I was right to have sex with you instead. 399 00:15:33,193 --> 00:15:34,921 So, all right. How about this... 400 00:15:35,022 --> 00:15:36,390 Ehh... 401 00:15:36,456 --> 00:15:38,524 I don't really feel like it anymore. 402 00:15:38,592 --> 00:15:40,961 I mean, I didn't feel like it half the times we did it. 403 00:15:41,027 --> 00:15:43,596 Your personal grooming is... 404 00:15:43,663 --> 00:15:44,998 [Whistles] 405 00:15:45,065 --> 00:15:46,700 It's atrocious, and you smell like weird herbs. 406 00:15:46,767 --> 00:15:48,368 Oh, that's the Sambuca. 407 00:15:48,435 --> 00:15:52,205 Only reason I did it was because it was my civic frickin' duty. 408 00:15:52,272 --> 00:15:55,142 But I would rather lose every game from here on in 409 00:15:55,209 --> 00:15:57,878 than have sex with you again. 410 00:15:57,945 --> 00:16:00,647 Fi-Fine. Okay. 411 00:16:00,714 --> 00:16:04,317 I'll bet we win tomorrow's game by... 412 00:16:04,384 --> 00:16:07,252 Jim: And with the score 18-0, 413 00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:09,223 looks like the fairy tale is over 414 00:16:09,290 --> 00:16:11,325 and the Frackers have turned back into a pumpkin 415 00:16:11,392 --> 00:16:12,693 through no fault of anyone's 416 00:16:12,759 --> 00:16:15,728 other than the players on the field, of course. 417 00:16:15,796 --> 00:16:18,333 [Country music plays] 418 00:16:23,373 --> 00:16:25,675 All right. Frackers are down to their final out. 419 00:16:25,742 --> 00:16:27,377 Here comes the pitch. 420 00:16:27,444 --> 00:16:29,146 Good slider there, 421 00:16:29,213 --> 00:16:32,549 and the count goes to 0-2 now to Uribe. 422 00:16:32,616 --> 00:16:33,918 Hey, Brockmire! 423 00:16:33,985 --> 00:16:36,855 You want to party with Uribe tonight? 424 00:16:39,223 --> 00:16:41,291 Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm free. 425 00:16:41,358 --> 00:16:42,592 Strike! 426 00:16:42,660 --> 00:16:44,694 I guess I'm free now. 427 00:16:44,761 --> 00:16:47,097 [Reggae music plays] 428 00:16:47,164 --> 00:16:49,866 So, is you dating anyone? 429 00:16:49,934 --> 00:16:52,435 No. Why do you ask that? 430 00:16:52,502 --> 00:16:55,272 Oh, I think maybe you and Miss Jules. 431 00:16:55,339 --> 00:16:57,073 - [Chuckles] - No, no. Hey, no. 432 00:16:57,140 --> 00:17:00,110 Nothing going on between me and Miss "Hools." 433 00:17:00,177 --> 00:17:02,746 What about you? You... You got anybody special? 434 00:17:02,814 --> 00:17:05,216 Ha. Uribe never marry. 435 00:17:05,282 --> 00:17:08,652 No one ties me down, not even my 13 kids. 436 00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:10,688 13 kids? 437 00:17:10,754 --> 00:17:12,022 I'm Catholic. 438 00:17:12,089 --> 00:17:14,324 Condoms are sin, and I hate to pull out. 439 00:17:14,392 --> 00:17:16,661 I hear you. Very difficult to leave the party 440 00:17:16,728 --> 00:17:18,095 when it is just getting good. 441 00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:20,290 Child support is why I still play, 442 00:17:20,394 --> 00:17:22,232 even though I only 29. 443 00:17:22,299 --> 00:17:25,302 American kids are so expensive. 444 00:17:25,369 --> 00:17:27,237 The Dominican ones, not so much. 445 00:17:27,305 --> 00:17:28,739 The dollar is very strong right now. 446 00:17:28,806 --> 00:17:30,674 Oh, hey. You... You don't have to tell me. 447 00:17:30,741 --> 00:17:32,542 [Sniffs] 448 00:17:32,609 --> 00:17:34,511 Ooh-ha! 449 00:17:34,578 --> 00:17:36,547 - [Knock on door] - Ah. 450 00:17:36,614 --> 00:17:39,684 And as my guest... 451 00:17:39,751 --> 00:17:42,220 you can pick. 452 00:17:42,287 --> 00:17:43,454 Oh. Well, uh... 453 00:17:43,521 --> 00:17:45,689 Well, let's just... We'll let the girls pick. 454 00:17:45,757 --> 00:17:46,924 You're cute. 455 00:17:46,991 --> 00:17:49,492 You remind me of my favorite stepdad. 456 00:17:49,559 --> 00:17:52,363 I... Oh... Well, you know, I get that a lot. 457 00:17:52,369 --> 00:17:55,135 - Um, Uribe. - Hmm? 458 00:17:55,206 --> 00:17:56,667 Pedro? [Clicks tongue] 459 00:17:56,733 --> 00:17:58,235 Um... 460 00:17:58,302 --> 00:18:01,238 How likely is this to become a group-sex situation? 461 00:18:01,306 --> 00:18:02,840 No, because, in the fog of war, 462 00:18:02,906 --> 00:18:04,442 sometimes things get a little chaotic, 463 00:18:04,509 --> 00:18:06,644 so I think we should set some ground rules. 464 00:18:06,711 --> 00:18:07,912 Oye. 465 00:18:07,979 --> 00:18:09,947 I am no cigua, okay? 466 00:18:10,013 --> 00:18:12,916 If my dick is inside of a woman, 467 00:18:12,983 --> 00:18:15,819 whatever you do to me is not gay, 468 00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:17,221 so do a lot of it. 469 00:18:17,288 --> 00:18:18,623 [Laughs] 470 00:18:18,690 --> 00:18:19,624 [Claps] 471 00:18:19,691 --> 00:18:21,158 A lot! 472 00:18:21,224 --> 00:18:22,394 A lot. 473 00:18:24,295 --> 00:18:25,196 Hey. 474 00:18:25,262 --> 00:18:27,365 Let's make things interesting. 475 00:18:27,432 --> 00:18:28,566 Oh. 476 00:18:28,633 --> 00:18:30,300 [Slurps] 477 00:18:30,367 --> 00:18:31,836 Mmm. [Chuckles] 478 00:18:31,903 --> 00:18:33,904 They're already pretty fascinating. 479 00:18:33,971 --> 00:18:35,239 [Chuckles] 480 00:18:35,306 --> 00:18:36,641 [Knock on door] 481 00:18:36,707 --> 00:18:38,441 - Who is it? - Brockmire. 482 00:18:38,509 --> 00:18:41,212 [Sighs] 483 00:18:41,279 --> 00:18:43,180 I thought you were with Uribe. 484 00:18:43,222 --> 00:18:46,702 I was, I was, but I think I realized 485 00:18:46,741 --> 00:18:48,084 that I don't want to be that guy anymore. 486 00:18:48,152 --> 00:18:50,054 Maybe I never was that guy, but I just... 487 00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:51,755 I wanted to be because then that would mean 488 00:18:51,822 --> 00:18:54,324 I couldn't be hurt again or something. 489 00:18:54,392 --> 00:18:55,760 [Chuckling] I just... 490 00:18:55,827 --> 00:18:57,295 I know that I like you. 491 00:18:57,361 --> 00:19:00,263 I like that you see the world for the shit pile that it is, 492 00:19:00,330 --> 00:19:02,299 but that just makes you shovel faster. 493 00:19:02,927 --> 00:19:04,934 Most of all, I like that we seem to have 494 00:19:05,001 --> 00:19:07,805 the same exact level of functional alcoholism. 495 00:19:07,872 --> 00:19:09,774 I don't want to be getting gross and high 496 00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:11,074 with a bunch of strangers. 497 00:19:11,142 --> 00:19:14,078 I want to... I want to be here with you. 498 00:19:14,145 --> 00:19:15,713 Are you high right now? 499 00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:17,682 A little bit, yes. I-I'm not prude. 500 00:19:17,749 --> 00:19:19,350 I had a couple toots. Come on. 501 00:19:19,416 --> 00:19:22,724 You know, the thing is, is you and me... 502 00:19:22,764 --> 00:19:23,688 It's just not a good idea. 503 00:19:23,754 --> 00:19:26,122 This is a terrible idea, but... 504 00:19:26,190 --> 00:19:27,458 [Sighs] 505 00:19:27,524 --> 00:19:30,794 I looked into your eyes for a long time the other night. 506 00:19:30,861 --> 00:19:33,330 I know that you're feeling the same things I am. 507 00:19:33,397 --> 00:19:34,398 I know it. 508 00:19:34,997 --> 00:19:36,900 Baseball makes me want to exist. 509 00:19:36,968 --> 00:19:41,195 You... You make me want to live. 510 00:19:42,039 --> 00:19:45,876 God... damn it. 511 00:19:47,959 --> 00:19:50,395 [Rock music plays] 512 00:20:09,817 --> 00:20:10,759 As many of you know, 513 00:20:10,871 --> 00:20:13,006 it was our plan to encourage a bankruptcy 514 00:20:13,073 --> 00:20:14,675 of the Morristown baseball team 515 00:20:14,742 --> 00:20:16,476 so that we could demolish the stadium 516 00:20:16,543 --> 00:20:18,745 and build a long-needed wastewater pit. 517 00:20:18,812 --> 00:20:21,047 Well, unfortunately, attendance is much higher 518 00:20:21,115 --> 00:20:22,503 than, uh, our models predicted, 519 00:20:22,558 --> 00:20:24,550 so, uh, it is my position 520 00:20:24,630 --> 00:20:27,970 that we take a much more... aggressive stance. 521 00:20:28,010 --> 00:20:30,390 Um, all in favor? 522 00:20:30,457 --> 00:20:31,993 Okay, good. 523 00:20:32,051 --> 00:20:36,254 Last but certainly not least. 524 00:20:36,330 --> 00:20:39,666 [Laughter] 525 00:20:39,734 --> 00:20:42,003 Sweet, sweet Deb. 526 00:20:42,070 --> 00:20:43,937 My favorite memories of you will always be 527 00:20:43,996 --> 00:20:46,351 from the 2013 retreat in Mazatl?n. 528 00:20:46,406 --> 00:20:47,808 You were a diamond 529 00:20:47,875 --> 00:20:49,810 that glittered for us all that weekend, 530 00:20:49,877 --> 00:20:51,378 and call me sentimental, 531 00:20:51,445 --> 00:20:53,893 but I'd like to see you glitter one more time. 532 00:20:53,964 --> 00:20:57,618 So, Deb, do you remember... 533 00:20:57,685 --> 00:20:59,253 the Margarita Men? 534 00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:02,223 [Mariachi music plays, Cheers and laughter] 535 00:21:02,290 --> 00:21:04,859 Look at her face! We love you, Deborah Gortley! 536 00:21:04,926 --> 00:21:06,394 Whoo! 537 00:21:06,461 --> 00:21:08,128 - [Clapping rhythmically] - [Chanting] Mazatl?n! Mazatl?n! 538 00:21:08,195 --> 00:21:09,297 Mazatl?n! Mazatl?n! 539 00:21:09,364 --> 00:21:10,865 This is Pennsylvania Shale right here! 540 00:21:10,932 --> 00:21:12,633 This is why we do what we do! 541 00:21:12,699 --> 00:21:14,000 [Laughter] 542 00:21:14,068 --> 00:21:15,336 Look at her! Look at here! 543 00:21:15,403 --> 00:21:17,272 [Music continues] 544 00:21:17,785 --> 00:21:21,852 Synced and corrected by Dragoniod for - www.addic7ed.com - 545 00:21:21,902 --> 00:21:26,452 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0